Spring Night Ride
Currently, it’s a cool little night and I am terribly lonesome.
Today was spent productively, lovely conversations with my mother & father — no pain from my brother — many sweet conversations with lovers.
Yet, I still feel like I’m just drifting. Like a Sea Angel or Jellyfish.
Actually, quick ramble on Sea Angels … They purely hunt Sea Butterflies, which they evolve in tandem to. Isn’t that scary? The very thing that preys upon you, combating every evolutionary move you make? Wouldn’t that fill you with fear? Having no way to outrun your perfect tethered copy, as it only makes itself faster in retaliation to you?
That isn’t a metaphor.
Drifting, drifting, drifting… drifting drifting drifting drifting The word is a little bit dirty, isn’t it?
Whatever. I think this set of moods is either part of the nervous system, or life catching up to me. I graduate in a month. School has been all I’ve ever known. I still want to leave — prove I’m an adult, capable of holding myself, that I didn’t need their suffocation and I’m better off without them hovering over me…
Though I know I’ll miss it. Once I’m out, I’ll crave it, like home cooked meals and my warm bed. Things I don’t even particularly like at the moment.
This time last year I was daydreaming of living with my ex. He’s out of the picture — took himself out.
It’ll be fine. I know I’ll be fine. I just needed an outlet.